I know online dating can be frustrating. I have a lot of gentlemen telling me that they are tired of it because they don’t get messages, or responses. I hear ya. Mr. ADude and I discussed on our podcast last week that one should really have zero expectations when it comes to online dating – and that you get out of it what you put into it. (That’s what she said..)
We’ve talked before about reasons girls don’t respond to your messages. I am still a firm believer that no one online owes you anything, and really – online dating is just one way of holding up a big neon “I’m Single!” sign. (I would kill for one of those in real life.)
But.. sometimes you aren’t getting messages or responses because your profile says something like this:
“I’m Really Good At:
..I am also very good at honking, yes it likely if you see a green grand Cherokee and there is a strange honk sound coming form it, then it is me. I have a 2-2.5 hr commute daily. if you text and drive next to me, I will honk at you. If you are drifting, swerving around, or clearly have no idea how to drive. I will honk at you. if you don’t go at a green light, honk. slow turner – meaning you come to a complete or near complete stop to take a right or left hand turn when there is no oncoming traffic – I will honk. Driving is an awareness mandatory activity and I can not begin to tell you how often I am cut off, near hit or put in a rather precarious situation. No I don’t have road rage, I honk as a form of positive or negative reinforcement. Making drivers better since 2012.”
I’m sorry Grand Cherokee owner, but that annoys the shit out of me. Are you fucking serious?
1) Your grammar is atrocious.
2) Remind me to NEVER get into a car with you. If that many people are near killing you on a daily basis… maybe it’s YOU. (Also, if you have time to honk, you have time to stop. Get over yourself.)
3) You also honk for POSITIVE reinforcement?! This *might* be okay if you have a custom car horn that beeps out “Nice work!” or a happy little song.. but I’m quite certain your Cherokee doesn’t have that.
4) Maybe.. just maybe.. you should move closer to where you work. Or take public transportation.
5) Yes, you DO have road rage.
6) “Making Drivers Better Since 2012″ – …did you just start driving? Additionally, I guarantee you that 95% of the people you honk at have no idea whatsoever why you are honking at them. The other 5% don’t give a shit. You aren’t making anyone better, you are only making yourself worse.
Welcome to my Friday night, folks. Sigh.. I need a boyfriend.